Julia Yarbough: Taking the Highway to a Husband!
I met Julia last fall at the Breaking the Color Barrier Conference in Atlanta, Georgia where she did a dazzling job as conference moderator. When I heard about her idea back then for Highway to a Husband, an adventure across the country to explore outdoor spaces and find a mate, I wondered how anyone as beautiful as Julia might have trouble in the man department? Well, Julia explains why here in this sneak peek into her fun and unfolding adventure in a recent interview with Outdoor Afro:
Why Highway to a Husband now?
Well, I have been single a LONG LONG LONG time, and granted, I spent most of my time working – giving 100% to the TV news industry, but during the time that I have been here in the South Florida area almost fourteen years, I can honestly say that I have not had a real, honest to goodness “date”, in which a man calls me up, asks me out, and executes something we are going to go do, in over four years!
I just felt like there must be some sort of disconnect between men and women, because there are all these great, single, attractive, smart, professional, successful, NORMAL women out there, who say they NEVER get dates (me included), and when we speak to guys, they say, “oh, we can’t find any good women.” Something is amiss. I feel like I am watching perhaps some of the best years of my life pass me by, with no dates, no partner, no companionship, and I thought, well, I can’t just sit here and wait for someone to find me, I need to do something to expand my pool of people, expand my chances, put myself where lightening may strike, in order to boost my chances of finding my “Mr. Right.”
Tell the Outdoor Afro community a little about yourself
I grew up in Northern California, graduated from UC Santa Barbara with a degree in Economics, got into the TV news biz in 1988 (wow, a lifetime ago!), and have called SFLA home since 1998. I love to travel, love the outdoors, bike, run, weight-lift, ski, snorkel, cook, and yes, I even know how to knit!
What are some of the responses to your site thus far?
Overwhelming positive response! The majority of women we tell about our journey say, “OH, TAKE ME WITH YOU!” The men just give us an odd look and the conversation ends. Online, we receive a number of e-mails, expressing appreciation in what we are doing, in that the women who have written say they are in the same boat: mid 40’s, professional, good quality women, and NO DATES IN YEARS. There is something CRAZY going on out there and we want to figure out why and what.
Several men have written and said they feel like women do not give them room to express their chivalry, therefore we (women) miss out on some of the good guys, because we are so independent. Other men have said I am trying to hard and just have to be patient and let it come. (my response to that: I’ve been waiting patiently for ten years – NOTHING – what am I supposed to do???) Other comments: women say men are no longer “HUNTERS” and wish men would take more of a lead. Men say, they appreciate strong, independent women, but once they start dating, want us to become “softer”, and let them take over. (somewhat of a contradiction, but we have heard that from many men). Other men have said, “good looking AND smart women are just too intimidating.” My response: where does that leave those who fall into that category? Do we dumb ourselves down???? (it’s crazy!)
What are some of the goals you have for your site?
By blogging, we are able to share our journey with those who are in the same boat. Not only can they find validation that they are not crazy in their frustrations about their dating situation, at the same time they can enjoy the trip across the country with us – through our blog and photos. Here is one of many videos we will share on our site:
Our ultimate goal: to engage more women and men in dialogue to get to the bottom of this, and help me find a HUSBAND!
Share your dating tales and ideas with Julia, who may be coming to a city near you soon!